Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

A guide to the hunt...

When hunting the fupa, it is important to keep several things in mind. Fupa are everywhere in this country. Finding them is easy - scoring a photo, however, requires some special skills. Fupa are quick to anger, and the hunter risks attack if a fupa catches him stealing a photo. Be sure to turn off any sound function on the camera, as the noise of a camera shutter can quickly spook the unsuspecting fupa. In order to avoid detection, the hunter may use a camera phone to hide his intentions. He may feign nearsightedness - holding the camera at an arms length and straining as if he is having a difficult time reading the text on the screen - while carefully snapping the picture. Hunters should exercise extreme caution with the flash, and fupa have proven especially sensitive to sudden bright light. The combination of accidental discharge of flash and sound by the over eager hunter have been known to provoke a stampede when trying to steal a quick shot of a large schwaggle.

Hunters should protect themselves by carefully composing shots so that the face of the shy fupa is left out of the frame, as shown in the following example:

Fupa buying hotdogs
When including the face is unavoidable, a quick touch up of the face back at the hunting cabin can disguise the identity of the fupa. From time to time, a hunter may bag a trophy that he is so proud of, that he may leave the face uncovered for all to see. This privilege should be used with much discretion.

Be careful when bagging a fupa to not overlook the opportunity for schwaggle shots. Fupa rarely travel alone. Often, a mid size fupa will accompany a true giant, as he or she feels smaller when traveling with the larger companion. Photos of the two (or more) together are true gems. In the example below, we note the attempt by the larger specimen to appear sexy by using an ankle tattoo. Fupa often feel the need to adorn to body in various ways in an attempt to distract from their girth and affliction. Also note the confident pose of the mid size fupa, which she strikes with pride - glorying in her relative size next to her giant friend.

Hotdog fupa and confident friend

While the classic shot showing the fupa is truely the coup de grace, do not neglect opportunity to highlight other fupa features. These can be chins, fupa fashion statements, and, as seen hear, the fearsome fupa crack:

Fupa crack

As mentioned earlier, fupa are indeed everywhere. They cannot be avoided. Some areas, however, provide very fertile hunting ground for the selective hunter. Food courts and buffets are excellent places to get the always satisfying shot of fupa feeding. As the fupa does not like to move under its own power, waiting areas for elevators and public transportation can be a boon to the hunter going through a dry spell. As shown below, vending machines are prime spots as well. Note the fupa footwear. As weight increases and feet expand to support the mass, traditional footgear is often abandoned in favor of the sandal or slipper.

Birkenstock fupa

Finally, do not mock the fupa. Respectfully marvel at its plight. Wonder at the fact that it exists, and how it might have come into being. Remember, a true sportsman respects the fupa as the nobel goal of the hunt - and to the victor go the spoils.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Troll Fupa

This Fupa is a driver for a certain trucking company, who stopped at a rest stop to relieve himself.